Behold a fairly gross photo of me taken right before bed the night after my latest hideous dental surgery. In order for the twenty or so stitches to heal over the three screws and bone graft that were just implanted, I need to remove my removable front teeth (aka, temporary denture) before bed each night. I don't have to wear the mask, but I refuse to look at my gums, which are all stitched up and have a titanium bolt sticking out of the bottom. Ugh. Once that image is in my head, I know it will never leave. I can live without it.
The cancer surgery I had was absolutely nothing on the pain scale next to the carvings I've had done in my mouth. Luckily, when you get cancer (even if it's a wussy stage-one melanoma), they give you these incredibly strong painkillers. I used about two pills after my surgery and hoarded the rest for just this kind of occasion. I spent three hours in the chair with the dentist drilling into my head. She'd be deep into my upper jaw and the novocaine would run out. Seriously—this happened about three times. I'd start to yell and once I actually hyperventilated like a lunatic. The pain was unbelievable. Also, injections into your palate do not "feel like a pinch," they feel like a spike being jammed up into your brain. As I was leaving the office, face swollen and blood crusted around my lips, the dentist offered me a Motrin.
That shit doesn't even work on period cramps.
Anyway, enough complaining. I'm in the midst of yet another health scare, which will hopefully turn out to be nothing, but I won't know for a few days. (It's probably nothing.) I'm so sick and tired of feeling like shit and having absolutely nothing to say unless it's to bitch about my stupid health. Do you want to hear about my bowels? (Kidding—my poop appears to be in great shape!) I'm writing a bunch, which is great, but I feel like the worst friend/family member/freelancer on the planet because I've been such a miserable bee-yotch this past year. So, sorry, you guys. I'll try to do better.
Don't know how it's been for you, my experience was always the higher I was on drugs during the procedure, the less miserable I was afterward. The one time the doc went opening my upper jaw with just novocaine, I was in agony for a week. But when I was on the IV drip, he could pretty much have his way with me. The IV drip of course wasn't covered by insurance, I forget how much extra it was. But it's about time for me to go in for some more, so I guess I'll be getting a refresher course. Because damned if I'm doing just novocaine again, ever. No. Just, no.
Good luck. Milkshakes!
Posted by: Brian | October 25, 2010 at 08:58 AM
Wow. I’m sorry have to go through that. Are you okay now Miss Judy? I hope you are, and I wish your teeth and gums are better. It’s been two years, and I suppose you’re looking lovely and healthy at the moment. I bet you have the prettiest smile out there! I certainly hope you’re not having health problems anymore. Stay healthy and positive Miss Judy. God bless!
Clayton Haider
Posted by: Clayton Haider | June 15, 2012 at 03:18 PM
I hope you're doing okay! I had jaw surgery a while ago and afterwards I looked like a swollen mess. Very ugly. I had never been vain, but I had also never had to deal with being hideous before either. I became super depressed and it was hard because it was a 3 month recovery process. After the recovery was over though, I went to my dentist and showed me the before and after pictures and I couldn't believe how much it had helped me and how much better I looked. So just know there's a light at the end of the tunnel and just try to stay positive!
Posted by: Abednadier20 | July 31, 2013 at 05:55 PM