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« Dear Ilene Chaiken, | Main | I hope this is just a rumor. . . »



i don't understand, despite how regularly you floss at home, as soon as the dentist does it, you're spitting out blood at the same rate as a heavyweight champion.

Judy McGuire

The blood in the mouth is the worst. Especially when you've got your head back and it just kind of pools there, all metallic and nasty.


I have a phobia of all doctors. The only one I'll go to is the dentist. That's because I've been using the same guy since I was 11. I don't know what I'll do when he retires.


You have really Seinfeldianly hit the nail on the head with that bit about the DDS SOB's trying to make you feel guilty all the time. Nice call.

Also, here is a nice little unintended double entendre:

"...I need to go through the drill and tell them..."

Woohoo. Good times.

Anyway, every time I go to my dentist, he tries to convince me I need $10K braces.

I must look like a real rube.

I embrace the MacGowan in me, give a warm hug to the former Strummer of my being, and give a periodontal high-five to Mr. John Self, of Martin Amis fame.

Hell, if I don't care if my BRAIN works OK, why would I give a fuck about my teeth?!


Blood in the mouth is gross but having flashbacks of a dentist with his knee on your chest while you hear the grinding of bone on bone is just not necessary..those dental instruments haven't been updated (I'm certain..) in 200 years...also having blood down the front of your chest after 2 hours with eyes closed and then seeing the blood all over the dental instrument try..why you just don't know what life is about!
..those were 2 separate incidents..and I paid the bill twice!! it looked like a horror's in our genes, sis!! Your pain tolerance is too low!

Hudson Dan

I've said it before and I'll say it again, there's no pain like dental pain...

My new upstate dentist has me on a three month cleaning rotation. As in, every three months pay him a few hundred dollars and hope they don't find anything else besides plaque. And no, I DON'T need x-rays again, thank you very much.


I'm saving up for a trip to Mexico for a fuckton of dental work, which will end up being cheaper than our beach hotel stay. Mexico dental vacations: Google it.

affordable seo services

Periodontal diseases are infectious diseases caused by bacteria, present in mouth. The most important causative factor is Dental Plaque, which is soft deposit present on teeth, due to lack of proper cleaning of teeth. It so easy to prevent this disease. Just exercise proper hygiene and dental check up.



Thanks for the head's up. I'll have to give that whole "toothbrush" thing a try!


I thought it was very helpful of that nice lady to take the time to pop in and remind us all that plaque is bad. All these years you must have thought someone had cast a spell on you, and it turns out all you had to do was brush your teeth.

I wish Heather had been around to tell me that 35 years ago...I might have had a winning smile and gotten that big job I applied for that one time or actually "gotten the girl" once or twice.

"Dental hygiene." Who'da thunk it?!


LOL @ Dave.


I need some bad advice.

"I am going to invest 3k in the stock market.

What stocks should I purchase?



You shouldn't buy stocks. You should buy 260 copies of my book:

They're on sale at 11.53 a copy (free shipping!) and then have a giant garage sale and sell them to all your friends at full cover price (16.95). That would show you a much better return on your investment than some stupid old stocks.

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