My kind of place

Last night was the big guy's birthday, so I took him out to Zenkichi for dinner. Though there's not a whole lot on the menu that I can eat (due to my loathing of all things fishy) I adore this place. The food is amazing, the atmosphere, exceptionally serene (except for the racist jackasses seated directly behind us, but that's no fault of the management), but the best part of all is their strict no children policy.

The rule is listed on their website, it comes up when you reserve through opentable.com and then, when they call you to confirm your reservation, they ask once more if there will be any babies or children with you. And if there are—guess what, you can't come. Uninvited!

After spending a day at the Coney Island aquarium this past weekend, I am well over children and their doting parents. In fact, it's not the kids that bother me—it's definitely the people who spawned them. I was in line for the bathroom—a very long line—when I noticed one stall wasn't turning over. I was worried someone was laying a stinker, but it turned out to be a mother and child. No problem, I realize kids take a while.

But after ten or so minutes, the line was getting longer when I hear, out of the stall, "Becky, now flush the toilet. Flush the toilet, Becky. Come on."

Becky: "Waaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! No!"

Mommy: "Please, Becky, just flush it. Mommy wants you to flush it."

Becky: [hysterical shrieking cries.]

Meanwhile, the line is really long and full of (understandably) whiny kids who need to pee already, when the door opens. The harried mother appears, sans toddler, who is apparently unwilling to give up the stall and is now furious that mommy finally flushed for her.

Mommy: "Come on, Becky, we need to go now."

Becky: "No."

Mommy: "Becky, people are waiting—mommy really wants you to go."

Becky: "No."

At this point I was safely—and I say "safely" for little Becky and her mommy's sake—ensconsed in a stall, but had I not been, I would've grabbed that brat by the hair and pulled her out of that stall and thrown her into the otter pool. Or at least that's what I would've done in my head. The reality is, I would've yelled at Becky's mom. But instead, I just enjoyed my sixty seconds of sweet relief.

Comments

[kc]

the polar bear area would be more effective.

once i was at the bmore zoo with gordon, and we were watching the polar bears. lots and lots of little kids around us. gordon says, "you don't want to fall down in there--those guys'll rip ya to shreds. vicious!!" and all these little kids started crying.

tee heee.

[BestViewinBrooklyn]

Being a parent (and knowing enough to avoid the aquarium on weekends), I wonder why any mom would WANT her kid to flush a public toilet herself. I flush public toilets with my foot, and I figure most other people do as well. Why make your kid touch it? Gross. (And if you don't flush with your foot, it's probably a good idea to start.)

[tracey]

Isn't that why you have kids, so they can flush the toilet for you!?
Happy Big Day to the Greek!

[Travis]

Ah, how sad I feel for you childless people, who will never know the joy of wiping your child's ass.

[tracey]

HA!...you lucky-lucky bastard!

[Val]

Yeah! Ja! Oui!

As a non-breeder, I so terribly miss wiping asses and noses of shrieklings, going "green" to make up for giving the world another carbon footprint to feed, and giving up scheduling things in my life I want to do.

Fortunately, I have it forced on me in movies, libraries, restaurants, etc. to remind me how much I'm missing by growing into a fully developed human being and living a full life.

[iamnotstarjones]

a restaurant with a no child policy! I didn't know!
Must go!

I try to not judge most parents but sometimes
as your story shows
it's hard not to find them annoying and worthy of derision.

[gleek]

that place looks awesome! oishii desu ne! and certainly not the place for kids anyway. if i got to go there, i would hire a baby sitter for my kid.

[Jennie]

My husband and I have discussed this issue quite a bit. We do not have kids (yet) and often find ourselves at restaraunts where children are moderately disruptive. However, parents who want to enjoy a meal out should not be forced to find a baby sitter. Because of smoking bans (another hot topic!) many restaraunts are completely smoke free. Why not use the previous smoking/non smoking set-up for kid/non-kid sections. People with no preference can ask for first available. As with smoking, dining out with children is a personal preference that both sides should be able to enoy.