1. Despite having looked at the email outlining the details of your interview, misread the time. Naturally, you want to misread it so you're late, not early.
2. Have only one outfit selected, with no contingency plan because all your other clothing is either dirty, doesn't fit, or is at the dry cleaner. But it's okay, because you have the go-to dress.
3. Do a phone interview with a Croatian travel agent located in London ten minutes before you're supposed to be out the door. Look up at the clock, panic, and hang-up the phone.
4. Put on the aforementioned outfit and realize you need a bit of makeup.
5. Grab tube of tinted moisturizer and proceed to squeeze it so ferociously that it sprays all over your dark blue dress.
6. Attempt to clean off Pollack-esque beige splatters with a wet cloth. Realize that this is only serving to turn spatters into smears.
7. Give up on the idea that there's any way you're going to be able to wear this dress, throw open your closet and try on everything you own. Settle on an ill-fitting brown shirt and a pair of filthy pants. Bonus points if you don't notice that they're filthy until you're actually sitting at the interview.
8. Already really late, thank your lucky stars that the L train is miraculously at the platform the second you get there.
9. Realize that it's sitting there because there's been some kind of incident and it doesn't plan on moving anytime soon. Note that you have one minute to get to 58th and 6th.
10. After the L train finally pulls out and proceeds to move at a snail's pace towards Union Square, tear up to the F train and wave bye-bye as it leaves the station at the exact moment your foot hits the platform.
11. Finally reach your destination sweaty and panting, only to find out that your 11:30 interview (which you are already 15 minutes late for) was actually supposed to take place at 11:00; rendering you 45 minutes late.
WOW. I feel infinitely better now knowing that I'm not the only one this catastrophe has happened to....
Posted by: The Kitten | May 16, 2008 at 11:47 PM
Ouch!
I had a friend who came out of an interview. Then caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror. It was at that point he saw the two huge wads of TP stuck to bloody cuts on his face!
Posted by: tracey | May 19, 2008 at 10:27 AM
Stories like this make me not want to even bother. Why can't people just hire you because
you're you?
Posted by: I am not Star Jones | June 05, 2008 at 01:23 PM