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Wender J. Crinklebank

Dear Madame,

I'm afraid I will not be able to attend your reading of 27 August, 2007, as I am boycotting McNally Robinson and its subsidiaries for its blatant violations of the Reasonable Adult Behavior Act of 1927 (passed in a landslide vote by an all-male Congress following the Silly Flappers Outbreak of October '26), which makes it a Federal crime for adults to engage in any behavior deemed to be "purposefull silly, irresponsible, foppish, mildly retarded or degrading to one's person." To whit: McNally Robinson is planning a "Harry Potter Party For Grown-Ups" in which otherwise sane adults are encouraged to dress like wizards and adorn their foreheads with lightning bolts and sit around in circles giggling excitedly about the pending arrival of the final Harry Potter volume. This simply Will Not Do; “grown-ups” must not be allowed to wear thick velvet robes and many-layered tunics dusted off and scrubbed of last year’s Renn Fest turkey-leg grease, and certainly not in the high heat of summer, a season most “adult” fans of Harry Potter tend to spend entirely in windowless basements or beneath the fluorescent lighting of various comic book emporia and video game parlors. I fear that the erstwhile “swank” McNally Robinson will -- following the Harry Potter festivities -- be rendered uninhabitable for a period of 8 to 12 months, during which time the carpets and various porous shelving surfaces will have to be scrubbed with a combination of 2 parts vinegar and 5 parts tomato juice.

Also, I cannot attend because I live in fucking Nebraska. Good luck with your reading.


Wender J. Crinklebank

Rachel Kramer Bussel

Can I call you Madame now too? I'm really psyched for this. I feel so posh, or something like that, reading at McNally. Only sad thing is Diane can't be there, but maybe next time. Which reminds me - thank you for putting us in touch in the first place. She rocks, and you rock!


dear madame,

it's safe to say that only mt. rushmore, or possibly stonehenge, rock harder than judy mcguire.


wishes her name was crinklebank

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