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Comments

osisbs

The part of the converstion you didn't catch happened a few months ago. It went something like this:

25 Woman: Honey, I just met this incredible banker/musician with a house in the Hamptons, so I don't think we'll be seeing each other anymore.

22 Grad-Boy: OK, so I'm broke and in grad-school and I don't have a BMW or a house in the Hamptons and you're dumping me for a 42 year old bald guy with a pony-tail and a band? Good luck with THAT!

threetoedsloth

Yes! This was the funniest, most pitiful article I ever read! I really loved how that guy had been dating his 25 year old girlfriend for a year already, but the notion of committing to her for a whoooooole entire SUMMER was just too much to handle. This dude's only got a couple of years left before all of his extra nose hair and ear hair grows in, and he thinks he can afford not to hang on for dear life to any woman he can get?

kate

oh dear.

jules

At least all these people have an agreed-upon destination to be together in their Banana Republic khaki that keeps them away from anywhere we'd want to go. I can hardly blame Paul McCartney for avoiding the place.

John Ivers

Holy sh#t you're ugly Judy! You are a friggin' beast if that picture of you on the Gothamist site is real. Its a good thing you have the hair-over-the-eyes-squinting picture on this site so as not to scare people away. Here's my dating advice to you - don't be so damn ugly and annoying. Oh, and I couldn't help notice the similarity between the reason # to avoid the Hamptons and the sales rank of your book on Amazon. You are about 100,000 low. Although I'm sure it will sell well to the brutal pack of sloths you run with. Not in the Hamptons of course.

comaboy

Oh, Mr. Ivers... you're a cock.

Judes McTeeHee

Someone's been ego-surfing! Ouchie!

The Rev Spyro

Me thinks Mr. Ivers needs a hug. We're sorry your mommy really wanted a girl, Mr. Ivers. Let's have a tea party with ponies and teddy bears and make all nice.

citycrimes

"Stocktrader" is a job or a euphemism for unemployed?

jules

Mr. Ivers, please post a recent photo of yourself. I imagine it's your high school yearbook picture?

osisbs

Mr. Ivers just wants his decks cleared, his line fresh and his hooks sharp for the coming summer because catch and release is how it's going to be, again.
I personally have to admire someone who knows when the young musician-worshippers are running and how to land them.

kate

Oh John Ivers, John Ivers, John Ivers, picture this: Some unassuming young woman meets you at a party. You give her your card. She thinks, eh, he's a little old, but maybe I'll go out with him. He can buy the drinks and pay for some dinners.

Then the young woman does what most women do before dating a guy. She googles him. And surprise! She finds that John Ivers is not above saying very nasty, dare I say childish things about a woman when she hurts his wittle feelings. No one likes to date, much less sleep with, men who say things to women like John Ivers has said to Ms. Judy. Every woman (okay, most) has been called ugly at some point, most women take it as evidence that a man is a big, mean, poor sport of a baby.

Oh, John Ivers, I think your next job should be grave digger, because you certainly know how to dig a hole.

Shiny

Hilarious... totally agree with Kate, if I googled his ass and found that he writes mean notes to writers who just put down in print what we were all thinking I would most definitely not associate with him. I find it so sad that he would rather ogle girlfriends of the past than commit to a 20-something woman when clearly he is past his prime. Oh well, guess this explains why he is as old as he is and unable to act like a grown man and move past the summer share.

Shiny

Oh and Hot Lava.... seriously?
I went to your myspace page, you should not be talking shit to anyone when you put out garbage like 'Tumbleweed'.

uberswell

i do not know judy mcguire, but i've seen judy mcguire at a reading-she's totally adorable. i read her because she's smart and funny, and i have found many people, perhaps like john ivers, see "smart" and "funny" combined with "woman" and automatically think "ugly". thats why they have to date women that could be thier children, so they are free to be the smartest and the funniest, even if they are neither. and even if she does say something truly witty, who cares, you and yoour freinds were too busy looking at her tits.

and calling someone, anyone ugly? are you kidding me? i got called that in grade school, and even then I thought "is that the best you can do?" i knew it was a lame ass excuse of an insult, said by someone too stupid and boring to think of something truly relevant and biting.

oh, and i actually was dating someone and googled him, and found horrible horrible stuff he had done/written about other people, and was totally disgusted by him from then on.

Kevin Eleven

My favorite thing about the Hot Lava myspace page is that they have all of 93 myspace friends.

This is 99 less than my personal count and 2007 less than my band's page.

Way to be makin' some friends John!

comaboy

Now, now... play nice with the ever so socially vacant Mr. Ivers...

I suggest a social experiment where Mr. Ivers trades in his Beemer for a '90 Honda Civic hatchback (manual tranny, of course) and does not offer to pour drinks down young throats. For the young ladies in question surely aren't gold-diggin' and the, erm, more mature male in question surely isn't paying for affection.

I'm sure he'd have the same level of success because he's one witty bastard (and I did that without typing a # sign to disguise my curse word, Fucko).

jeta

Seriously, this guy is a douche. I don't often use that word, but douche is defiantely accurate.

I mean, if I were in his situation (42 year old frat boy, spineless girlfreind, sea of vapid cohorts, and so on), I'd act like a douche too.

God, that makes me feel so much better about the direction of my life.

hondacivic

LOL!! For those who have never been to Amagansett, you have absolutely no clue. Almost everyone in Amagansett is in there 30s - 40s - some with families, some in serious relationships, some single, and some confused. It is a small, tight-knit community. People are attracted to the beaches, the small town with 1 bar, to escape the social-climbing scene in Southampton, but they mostly go because of the long-lasting friendships the summer form. THAT is the reason people continue to summer, fall in love, get married, rent shares with their wife and kids, and watch the new generation take over. For some of us, this takes longer. EVERYONE has a friend like Ivers. EVERYONE has a friend like Ivers that has fallen in love and gotten married, to the disbelief of all. THAT is why people continue their "Linger till Autumn" ways. John is not teh first - and he certainly will not be the last.

The Rev Spyro

I don't have a friend like Ivers.

Shiny

I wouldn't want a friend like Ivers.

Kate C.

Friends don't let friends be friends with Iverses.

jeta

Why are you defending the douche, Ivers' cohort? Why? Because he vacations in the same quaint town 8 weekends a year with you? This guy won't bring his girlfriend of a year to vacation with him, so he can oogle his exes and enjoy the pussyfest ( I'm sorry, "temptations") that is your very 'tight knit community'.

But I should defer to you, because reprehensible behavior doesn't occur in a utopia such as Amagansett (insert pretentious laugh here), and I have absolutely no clue.

Listen I grew up in a beach town and I'm well acquainted with the a-holery of summer people. You all roll in May and won't leave until September. In that ~4 months, you destroy our beaches, clog the streets with SUVs, and let your overprivelgded brats run unsupervised and unchecked everywhere. You are guests, yet you infest the town like a plague, feeling entitlement of ownership during the 8 weekends you VISIT my HOME.

You're just as big of a douche if you really believe all the bullshit you spewed.

anon

you guys don't know the (EX)girlfriend, but i do... not only is she gorgeous, but she is genuinely a good-hearted person who doesn't deserve to have the duke of douches put her down. furthermore, that "girl in the madras shorts" that he is so tempted by happens to be a total beeeyatch...ivers, you can have her (if she would even take you) because we all know your girlfriend is long gone.

Paul

As the graffiti on the wall at the Zoo Bar reads (genders have been switched): He may look cute, and be really nice, but somebody, somewhere, is tired of his shit.

anon

ivers should relocate to a small remote village in the middle of now where ~ hopeful wishing for all us who never want to meet or already know him & now hate him.

he must be begging/crying for this hot 25 year old to take him back. i hear she is a knockout that is super cool. no doubt she is long gone.

fingerlicker

It's just so sad to see an old man make so many mistakes; embarassng mistakes. not sure how it's possible he even gets girls. well, i doubt any cute 25 year old girl will ever go for him again. welcome to cougar land dude.

jesusfuckingchrist

hamptons as vacation spot = guarantee to cross paths with some of the most boring people on earth.

iamnotStarJones

if that was the real john ivers commenting, i guess you struck a nerve with your commentary.

note to john: it's not jules fault that you are having these maturity issues and the need to peacock about them to some loser from the NY Times.

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