All New!

After being basically sequestered for the past couple months, it's nice to have a social life once again. Over the past couple days, I've checked out three new places in the hood, which I'll be writing about today, in an unprecedented three-post day!

Saturday afternoon Spyro and I went for a little walk. It was around lunchtime, so we stopped at this new Vietnamese sandwich place in the old Oznot's spot. . . .

I want to stop for a minute and talk to all you parents out there—quit buying your children businesses. Purchase them a car or a condo, but please, no more mommy-and-daddy-financed restaurant/store type ventures. Kids who grow up never having to work for anything suck at waiting on people. They should set up graphic design firms. Or maybe become writers. I don't care, but keep them away from places that depend on them providing customer service.

I don't know for sure that The Silent H is funded by parents, but it sure does feel like it. The Big Guy and I walked in and saw a bar with some cute young guys hanging out behind it. After we stood around looking confused for a few minutes, we finally figured we'd seat ourselves. Mind you, there were about five other people in the place. They were not busy.

So we sat down and got ignored some more. After about ten minutes, the Big Guy bellied up to the bar and asked what was up.

One of the guys behind the counter finally interrupted his Very Important Story about how wasted he'd been the night before and informed Spyro we had to order at the bar and they'd bring the food over. Like I said, there were maybe five other people in the joint, but apparently they were all friends.  No need to worry about us dreary paying customer types!

I don't mind having to get up and place my order, but it would've been nice if someone had mentioned it. Spyro told them what we wanted and we sat and tried to ignore the inane chatter. A party of six older gallery-tour types wandered in and stood in the doorway. And stood there. And stood there some more. Eventually they also decided to seat themselves, also without any kind of acknowledgement by the staff, who were only now outnumbered by customers.

A well-dressed white guy came in and sat down at the table next to us. He sat there for about ten minutes before he cut his losses and split. Ditto the dude who pulled up a seat at the bar, only to go ignored by the owner—who was standing approximately 11.5 inches from his face.

A cheerful (and oblivious) guy sauntered over with our sandwiches, which were really great. They tasted fresh, spicy and delicious and the bread was amazing. Too bad the service sucked all the goodness right out. Spyro went up to order a couple more Cokes and asked the guy if they delivered. "No way," he laughed. "We're busy enough!"

After waiting fifteen minutes for him to bring two Cokes over to the table, I got up and asked for the bill. He was standing around talking to his friends some more, holding the Cokes—still unopened—and asked if we wanted them "to go."

"Nope," I replied. "We don't want them anymore." He actually had the nerve to look pissed. "You want me to take them off the bill?" he asked, incredulous. No, jackass, I want you to charge me. Please crack them open and pour Diet Coke shots for all your friends—on me. It sounds like you party animals need to rehydrate.

I didn't really say that last part, but I sure did think it. He grudgingly subtracted the price of the Cokes off the bill and handed it over. I will never go back there again. Ever.

Though the food was really good, so I might send Spyro for takeout.

Comments

[jamy]

As a DC resident, I'm delighted to hear that we don't have a lock on bad service. :)

[david]

Yikes, I hate that kind of scene: "they're too busy to do business."

They're probably the kind of loser-hipsters who wear sunglasses on cloud-days.

[Warning! Geeky engineering & comic book references ahead!]

You intend to send The Big Greek to this place *by himself*?!?!

Without the control rods of Judy, the nuclear reactor known as the Big Greek will go MELTDOWN. Why don't you just make a collect call to NORAD and ask for an immediate airstrike! The big smoking hole in the ground they'd leave would be far less destructive than TBG when he turns into the Hulk.
Just sayin' is all...

Although, thinking about it, watching the Hulk utterly destroy Bedford Ave. would be totally cool.

[iamnotStarJones]

why does it seem that so many restaurants and service oriented businesses are operated by low functioning depressives?

the kind of people who have zero pride about anything they do or represent.

makes staying inside and watching television much easier for me.

[The Reveropoulos]

It's not that these people start out as depressives - it's that they figure out at some point - oh shit - there's work involved in this?
Judy's right - the place blew and I was SOOO hoping for the real thing run by some right off the boat Vietnamese people who don't really care about me either but aren't annoying, cloying, poser trash! but are REAL people who run a real cafe as a real biz for real customers!

[dailysquanderer]

i happen to know well and really like the dude who opened this spot-- he is dirt poor and has a heart of gold and poured all of his life into going out on a limb to bring really tasty vietnamese cooking to the neighborhood. he also hasn't slept in 2 months and has lost 20lbs working his ass off for this place, and i wish you guys even had a clue what its like to run a dining business. if you took the time to get to know him you'd understand why his wait staff and team right now are die-hard friends of his who are all extremely smart and successful people who have taken time off working their corporate jobs to help out a good friend. even the buildout of this space was the effort of friends flying out from the west coast to build it for him at cost. the trick with the lunch service-- and i stopped by yesterday and saw they put up signs explaining-- is that its order and pickup at the bar. you should at least give the dinner a go, even in takeout-- try the black peppercorn porkloin. ON A SIDE NOTE: whoever The Reveropoulous is, you should read your comment-- you are a racist fuck: "right off the boat vietanemes people." i am glad i live in a progressive city here with you and i am sure that silent H does not want your money anyway.

[Judy McMayBeConvinced]

I've heard dinner is good, but the food wasn't the problem at all. My friends also say the service was much better when they went, so maybe they were having a VERY off day.

And no, you're right, I don't know how to run a restaurant, but if I were going to put all that work and dough into opening one, I'd make sure to learn all about it first! But yes, you did make me feel a little guilty, so I'll give them another try.

In his defense, the Rev is "right off the boat Greek" so I'd give him a pass on that.

[meester]

I agree that the service can be weak, but the sandwiches are fuckin awesome. Where else are you going to get a good banh mi in Williamsburg? Maybe they didn't have it up before, but they have signs saying order at the bar.
Also, there have been some racist comments on this shit. "Real off the boat Vietnamese"? What the fuck does that mean? I guess we should just search refugee camps of displaced people to get "real ethnic" chefs!

[The Rev Gofugyaself]

I want to apologize for the term "Off the Boat." Only Cubans get here in boats anymore and they run better sandwich shops than the Silent H.

So lets take this one point at a time...

1. The Silent H still sucks - I don't care how much work the owner put into it. The service is terrible, the menu is limited and not authentic and the staff doesn't even take a second to clean off a table before you sit at one.

2. The Rev. is "off the boat" himself (and I mean a real boat) and usually finds other FOB's from whatever lands they come to be wiser, funnier, more talented, harder working and more grounded than our spoiled 2nd generation moron cousins who's first generation parents worked like dogs so their progeny can squander their trust funds away on vanity projects like a sandwich shop that sells a $6 dollar product in a neighborhood where commercial real estate is at hundreds of dollars per square foot. Smart move there kiddies.

3. The Rev is Greek - my people live, sleep. eat and breathe food service you idiot. I can run a short order grill, any number of prep stations, wash dishes, run a slicing machine, I know how cool my meat needs to be to pass health codes, how to choose the best suppliers, who gets the best meat and fish on what days and how to bribe health inspectors and deal with mob run trash collectors. It's what my family did for 25 years. In fact at one point in NY history Greek Diners held the largest number non-fast food eateries in the city - good to know they have now dwindled to zilch. We closed ours because the damn rents got to high. It's now a high priced shoe store that caters to moneyed hipsters. My oldest brother who was at the helm of that establishment when it closed now installs ventilation and AC units in new restaurants with a smirk because he knows they will most likely close in a year.

4. The Rev IS a racist in a sense - there's a mewling race of HUMORLESS PC JACKASSES, I can't stand. Being PC isn't EVEN PC anymore! Especially the ones that are all a titter when the Southpark Boys or Sarah Silverman make jokes about rape, AIDS, world huger, homosexuality, race and the handicapped. But that's all OK - HONKY funny now right? Grow a skin you pussies.
PS did I mention the Silent H still sucks. You can get a better sandwich at a real Vietnamese sandwich at:
Nicky's on 2nd St. in Manhattan.