Yesterday was kind of a crappy day. I got really pissed off at my boyfriend, somewhat forgave him, and then we went to get me a new phone. After much dicking about—and at his suggestion—we got a "family plan," which will save us about $60 a month.
Because I hadn't fully let go of my anger by the time we got to the Verizon store, I was still feeding him a steady stream of shit. This in turn alternately amused and annoyed the sales clerks, but mostly served to make them uncomfortable. (Who wants to be stuck between the Bickersons?) The thing that finally shut my big yap up was one of them remarking that I was a lot like the wife on Everybody Loves Raymond.
Oh yeah, except for the whole not-being a misogynist republican bitch, I guess. But that sure did make me zip it. After much deliberation, we left the store with my beautiful, overpriced phone and decided to get a little Thai food.
Planet Thailand is highly overrated, but it's cheap and close to the subway so there we went. The host seated us and we began our interminable wait for service. Suddenly I see one of the sushi chefs fly over the bar and begin pounding the crap out of a waiter!
Floorshow!!!
The chef dude was so pissed he even whipped off his decorative sushi-man headband and threw it on the ground! These guys were beating the bejesus out of each other and sure, they might've been tiny, but they're also wirey and man-oh-manischewitz, were they pissed!
A dozen or so coworkers finally surrounded them and pried them apart, but by that point I was exhausted and we just went home without any pad thai.
Oh, and in the no-shit news of the day, the Guardian just released a poll showing that British teens (and I'm pretty sure this is a universal) drink, smoke, take drugs and lose their virginity far earlier than their parents suspect.
Next week I'm commissioning a poll to determine whether bears shit in the woods.
Oh my god Jules! I can call you Jules, right? I just about dropped out of my chair with laughter at your last sentence. You are too, too fab!
Posted by: Scarlett | February 23, 2007 at 01:12 PM
You have me confused with my friend Jules--I'm Judes! It's an easy one to mix-up. Though I'll answer to pretty much anything. Especially when you're nice. Thanks!
Posted by: Judy McReferee | February 23, 2007 at 01:23 PM
"man-oh-manischewitz"? You've been reading James Ellroy again.
Posted by: Pot calling kettle | February 23, 2007 at 02:29 PM
Nah, that must just be burned into my brain. I am no longer an Ellroy fan. He's too stylized these days. Booring.
Posted by: Judy McEllroyHater | February 23, 2007 at 04:06 PM
Nothing better than a good 'ol fashioned beat-down!
Provided of course that you are not on the recieving end of said beat-down!
Posted by: Electrodouche | February 23, 2007 at 08:49 PM
Judes, I am really glad you and Spyro are getting into family planning.
Posted by: Jules | February 24, 2007 at 10:35 AM
being compared to Deborah Barone by the voices in my head makes me pause when arguing with my bf as well.
That crazy baby maker Patricia Heaton has done something positive for the world, after all.
Posted by: I am not Star Jones | February 25, 2007 at 02:46 PM
Ever wonder why Thai and Indian food have roughly the same ingredients, yet Indian always costs double to triple what Thai does?
Posted by: osisbs | February 26, 2007 at 12:06 PM
Not in NYC. They're both pretty even-steven in the cheap department in this town.
Posted by: Judy McPadThai | February 26, 2007 at 03:27 PM