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"Have you ever gone out with someone whose manners just killed the whole deal for you? Maybe a super-hot girl who chewed with her mouth open? Or a litterbug?"

I really really liked this guy. He was very smart, funny, articulate, handsome, lots in common.... the whole bit. After dating for about a month, we went out to dinner and he got a little (but not THAT little) meaty piece of burger (and bun, I believe) stuck right between his front teeth. "Ooh-- poor guy, that could happen to anyone," I thought. So I tried to give him the usual subtle hints: you know, self-picking my teeth, saying I'd like to go to the ladies room to check my teeth. He didn't get it. I finally decided to just politely say, "Ooops! Looks like you have something between your teeth there."

"Oh. Do I?" he said. And he did NOT remove the chunk. He did NOT excuse himself. But it was about time to leave, and I liked him, so I let it go. Figured he's too polite to pick his teeth in public, isn't that klassy?!

Anyway, we went back to my place, a studio apartment. We didn't even turn on the lights. He excused himself to use my bathroom, where he had his own toothbrush. He, um, slept over. I woke up. We smiled at each other and FUCKER STILL HAD THAT PIECE OF BURGER IN HIS TEETH.

**GAG**. Dealbreaker on the spot. I'm still gagging.


i'm thinking. i'll try to come up with something.


I have to admit, one of my more shallow dealbreakers is a guy who laughs like a girl. Or a guy who blows his nose at the dinner table. Or a guy who is rude to waiters/waitresses on a first date.

The most inappropriate thing someone's ever said to me on a date (a first date, even) was: "Would it be rude of me to come over and bury my face in your cleavage right now?"

I have a cheapskate story too, which I'm more than happy to share because it involves my now ex-fiance. We'd been dating for about a month when I had my 30th birthday. He bought me... get this... a box of bowtie pasta (because I once said it was my favorite kind). Cost: $1.20. And a tube of KY Jelly (apparently he thought the pasta would excite me enough to want to do him on the front seat of his truck). Cost: $2.00. Why I ever stayed with him long enough to get "engaged" to the guy (without a ring, even!) is beyond me. It certainly wasn't for the sex (or significant lack thereof)! By the way, if you need bad sex stories, let me know. I've got PLENTY.


Shallow deal breakers or some of sue' idiosyncrasies: I refuse to date anyone that has one or more of the following characteristics:
the astrological sign of Cancer or Aries,
Jack as a first name-that's my dad's name-weird, is named Larry or has a name that rhymes with Larry, wears a fanny pack. Those are the main ones...there's plenty more!


* What are some of your more shallow dealbreakers?

I hate guys who say- " what not". My face will even wince. Over! in one statement. It equals the same level of dislike for a hemp rope, conch shell necklace (especially if it is tight) around the neck. I take an immediate stance of what lame worldly view are you going to spew on me before you mention touring with phish and how spending time in mexico made you enlightened. Rude to waitstaff- over. You are waiter and 32+-over. Workout too much and care about your body more than a girl-over. Dirty fingernails and or dead tooth- over.

Also once a guy I was on the fence about, had his brutal end due to having a bugger in his nose. But here is why it was SO gross. He was having sex with me. It just dangled on the edge, wet and green- BARF. Somehow I was like just cum quick and be gone- telling him would of seemed all the more embarrasing for me. It was over after that. It semed to symbolise his totally inability to be aware of things (ok I was already disliking him and this helped). He once acted like a girl when my car wouldn't start. He threw a fit that he could not find his journal (ok that says a lot too he was a wannabe writer/carpenter/substitute teacher aka lazy 34 alcoholic). Meanwhile I was late for work, needed a jumpstart and he was so self involved he needed to search for his journal...... all the while I moved my roomates car and jumped my car on my own. Yup womens lib gone wrong, gone right! OVER OVER OVER.... I need a guy who once in awhile carries heavy shit, puts in my air conditioner and well is not a girl!

* Have you ever gone out with someone whose manners just killed the whole deal for you?

I ended my relationship with a guy who ate like he had not eaten in a month. I thought at first hmm, I eat uber slow but he literally shoveled food into his mouth. I was embarassed to go out to dinner. He lifted the plate to be closer for his face for shoveling. AWFUL. I actually would say slow down and then I thought this is absurd! I have to police his eating so I do not feel stressed and embarassed- no way! Basic manners are a must! I could not bring this guy to a company dinner and or meet my family.... the end.

* What's the most inappropriate thing anyone has ever said to you on a date?

Quote- "I am like a girl so you have to drive me home".

*If so, which of your flaws did they point out? How did you react?

"You are a little soft..... you do not work out?"

React- shock and quiet hatred until I got the nerve to stop dating the anorexic workout obsessed biker (not Harley, but tight blue spandex biker- you known the ones that "shave" to be faster- puke)

* Ever date someone who acted as though they were doing you a favor?

I am a commando girl, aka 6 years no underwear and I will not change. I find almost every guy feels threatened that it is for an easy access to being a quicker slut (not with them). First date I am so hot. After that while dating it makes me a Jezebel ready to run. I just hate anything that feels tight and confined so happily I do not wear undies. So after 2 months of dating the dude took me on a spending splurge and bought me underwear. Some how he never got it. He was the wiener biker boy.

* Did you ever go out with someone specifically to get back at someone else? Erm, not that I've ever done that.

I was 15. I lost my virginity to my first loves best friend after he dumped me. I went big. Real big. Yes, I have never done the friend thing EVER again.

* What about cheapskates? Any good cheapskate stories out there?

My favorite is "forgetting" their wallet. Or finding out my last name and putting a drink on my tab- CLASSY!

Anni Hispanni

Hi! I've been reading your blog for a while and i absolutely love it. Getting out of (yet another!) crappy relationship, I could not pass this up. Here goes!

#1 Deal breaker:Rude to waiters. Done. Finito. Oh and shitty tippers.

I went out with a guy who farted in front of me on the first date. Pretty much killed it.

I was on a second date with a guy I met online. Our first date was great.When I saw him the second time he was wearing a tye dye shirt. We went to a near by park to smoke some herb and when we were making out (I still made out with him despite the shirt) he tries to shove his hand down my pants. When I pushed his hand away he says "What?!You won't get any diseases!"

This question is totally my ex. He was constantly telling me to lose weight and held out in the sac for *GASP* 10 months. When I split with him and brought this up he said "Well would you want to sleep with someone that hurts you when they are on top of you?" I'm a size 14 by the way.
He was of the school of thought that telling me i was fat would encourage me to lose weight. Ummm 10 months, same size. Ya think this is working, babe???

He also told me that I was lucky that he didn't leave me.

I have never dated anyone specifically to be vengeful.

Worst come on line EVER: "Damn baby, you fine! I don't like dem skinny girls!"

Not so much of a cheapskate as a broke-ass-can't-hold-down-a-job skate


What are some of your more shallow dealbreakers?

If someone uses the words "hit me up," that's it!

What's the most inappropriate thing anyone has ever said to you on a date?

A guy once told me that F. Scott Fitzgerals was not hung and needed to put his wife Zelda on a pillow so she'd feel him. This may partially explain why I'm a dyke now.

How about those overly "honest" people who are, in actuality, just kind of mean. Ever date one of those? If so, which of your flaws did they point out? How did you react?

Someone once told me I didn't look like the celeb I said I did in my online profile.


Two words:
Militant Vegans.

I am not Star Jones

* What are some of your more shallow dealbreakers?

Rotten crooked teeth.
Men who love Phat Farm, RocaWear and all that other logofied crap.
And doo rags -- I can't do doo rags.

* Have you ever gone out with someone whose manners just killed the whole deal for you? Maybe a super-hot girl who chewed with her mouth open? Or a litterbug?

I broke up with a man for spitting on a moving car.

* What's the most inappropriate thing anyone has ever said to you on a date?
A guy called me stupid because I opened a door to let a fly out of my apartment.

* Did you ever go out with someone specifically to get back at someone else?
Yes. The two men are no longer friends but not because of me.

* "Are those space pants you're wearing, 'cause your ass is outta this world!" What's the worst line you ever heard? (That's mine, though sadly nobody ever used it on me.)

The line heard on first avenue and st. mark's:
You got it going on from your head to your feet.

not worst -- just super cheesy.

* What about cheapskates? Any good cheapskate stories out there?

I've had men refuse to get me a glass of water in a club and wonder why I wouldn't give them my phone number.

* Have you ever had a horrible first date that eventually turned into something good?

all the men that were my horrible first dates immediately exploded after the dates ended.
so the answer to the question is yes.


I once went out with a woman who picked up her drink and went over to another table with three strange men and chatted them up for ten minutes and then came back, sat down, and continued our conversation as if nothing had happened.
She was a Jesus freak and a Ph.D. student in psychology who used the word "fag" alot. I am serious. The date ended at 930pm with me faking an urgent phone emergency.

Went out with one person who was totally blasted after two drinks, underwent some sort of personality disorder syndrome right before me and started calling me an asshole on the first date.

Another woman's mother hit on me after telling her to dump me because I didn't make enough money. Hurl.
Same woman began dating my friend whose family owns a large (and I mean LARGE) business in this town and....wait for it....was pregnant three weeks later.

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