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mark

My friend Lynne, who once picked up Charles Manson hitchhiking and let him take a shower in her house, calls uncircumcised dicks "ant-eaters".
I never asked her about the status of Chuck's foreskin, but it was the early 70's and he's American, so let's asume he's been hacked.

And if that's not funny enough for you, one time Blythe Danner was in line in front of me at the grocery store wearing a jacket from the horid film "Duets".

mark

here's another missive i'll offer up:
it's sort of a confession.

i saw Coldplay "play" once. but it wasn't on purpose.
it was at Coachella two years ago and i had intended to go see Spoon - who were a few stages over, but there was a sea of California-style bridge + tunnel Coldplay fans between me and Spoon, so I was stuck watching Chris Martin bust out his tired Elton John schtick from 200 yards away. Yawn. I've never been so bored in my life. And my knees hurt.

missscarlett

I read that the reason her and brad broke up was because she would NOT suck dick. makes sense. gywnie thinks, ewww too many calories in jizz. i'm sure chris martin gets his dicked sucked by men in bushes.

jenny lewis

she and brad.


is it me, or is the maturity level dropping to 7th grade in here?

Judy

Jenny/Mark, I think you mean "is the maturity level RISING to 7th grade." FYI, I don't normally like to go any higher than the fifth grade. (The optimal age for poo jokes.)

really me this time

i felt the need to add that "Jenny" is my obnoxious
work co-hort (who's name is really Martin) who likes to come into my room and get onto my computer and plant subversive geek-isms to get a rise out of me. he also loves country music this week - which is worrisome.
i think he's also resentful that as i get deeper into middle age, i become more immature. i love my immaturity and am proud of it. bring on the poo jokes and keep doing what you're doing!

kingofthewildfrontier

I think instead of "I am African" that ad should have read "I am Adam Ant." (You have to have been born 1976 or before to get that joke.)

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