My friend Lance was in town for the licensing show and so in-between her five-gazillion meetings, we decided to meet up for lunch. I thought the new Rosa Mexicana on 18th might be good, mostly because it's near all major subways and they have margaritas. Nothing like a midday drinky-poo to really pep a gal up.
So we sat down, and as soon as humanly possible, began stuffing our pieholes with guacamole. As we were fairly late lunchers, the place emptied out quickly. I was slurping down my pomegranate margarita when I noticed a slight guy with an ill-advised mohawk making his way to the can. Alan Cumming! I gave Lance—who lives in LA and sees celebs all the time—the head's up.
"I've seen his balls," she reported, nonchalantly. As I know he's a 'mo, I knew it wasn't due to any scandalous behavior on her part. Apparently Alan flies freebird and is fond of wearing loose-fitting shorts. Sadly, I have no scrotal sac sighting to report.
So anyway, I get over the giddiness of that star sighting when I happen to look over and see Jude Law sitting in the corner, eating lunch with a bulbous-headed man. Jude Law! I used to love him, back in the Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil days. Ever since Alfie and the divorce, I'm finding him kind of pukey, but still. Jude Law! So anyway, there's Jude Law and suddenly there's Sienna Miller too! Some sort of celebrity trifecta! He put on a fedora (um, because it's 100 degrees out and nothing keeps you cooler than a felt hat?) and she was wearing some ghastly sundress and a hair don't.
But the most important thing we learned during our big, celebrity-packed lunch was that Alan Cumming is an excellent tipper. Apparently he used to be a service professional and knows his way around a gratuity. In sharp contrast, Jude Law & Co. completely STIFFED the waitstaff!!!! Sure, they paid their bill, but didn't leave a cent for their waiter. I realize his career has been a little toilet-bound lately, but it's my belief that if you can't afford to tip, you should stay in your luxury hotel room and mine the mini-bar for sustenance.
(Oh, and I later tried to convince my boyfriend that Jude fingered me during lunch, but he didn't buy it.)
I once shared a flight to London with Alan Cumming! He wore red Birkenstocks and he kept coming back to coach to use our bathroom, and came out rubbing his nose and looking very disoriented.
As for tipping, did you know that Michael Jordan purposely never tips waiters? I found this out on Oprah once. Apparently nobody ever told him that waiters' base salary is about $2/hr and that they require his tips in order to NOT STARVE TO DEATH.
Posted by: threetoedsloth | June 22, 2006 at 08:56 PM
I don't know your friend, but it could have been due to scandalous behavior on her part. Alan is bi.
Posted by: toocheap | June 23, 2006 at 01:41 AM