Ack!

A couple weeks back I wrote a post criticizing Slate's "Dear Prudy" columnist when she suggested that a woman who was positive she didn't want children, reconsider that decision. Why? Because the woman's family really wanted her to. Oh. So a grown-up lady should get pregnant and have kids because her mommy wants her to. That makes sense.

I'm betting that if that same woman wrote in saying she didn't want breast implants, but that her husband really wanted her to go under the knife and get the funbags inflated, Prudy would've had a whole different take on the situation. And as stupid a scenario as that is, even that would make more sense as silicone bags don't crap themselves or throw tantrums.

Apparently I wasn't the only one who took issue with Prudy's bad advice, so this week she's back defending herself. She talks about how rich her life is now that she's spawned. How amazing it is to watch a child grow up.

That's great. For you. I have plenty of friends who've reproduced and I'd never tell them they'd made a grave mistake. By the same token, I expect them to respect my choice. And really, shouldn't giving birth to another human require a whole lot more thought than opting not to?

One of Prudy's lamest points is repeatedly referring to people without children as being "childless" instead of "childfree." She even confesses she does this to rankle her critics. Frankly, I don't care what she calls it as long as I don't have to wipe its ass.

Comments

[jules]

Yes, what a fantastic sales job she does, as well. Here is what sold me on rethinking my selfish choices:

"When my daughter was 2, she put her arms around me as I was kissing her goodnight and said to me, "Mommy, you're a wonderful husband." That was better than any of the movies I hadn't been to since she was born."

Gasp! She's right! And what a genius child she has. But here is where she jinxes herself:

"I can't recall a single fight my husband and I have had over our daughter (we have occasional fights, but not about her)."

Wedding bliss, too! And you know, it's the little things that make Emily and her husband just the most amazing parents:

"A week in Paris could not have made my husband happier than telling her everything he knew about Iran-Contra," she says of their amazing 10 year-old.

Wow! Joyously married, NOT giving up "career" or just "planning that next trip" for the endless, blessed, untrammeled joys of mommyhood! Lucky Emily! She makes it sound so.....revolting!

[Paul]

Shouldn't any law restricting abortion also be linked to a tax increase to fund all the schools, clinics, hospitals, daycare, prisons, cemetaries, apartments, parking, and so on that these unwanted people will eventually need?
Add taxes and the right will immediately change its tune.

[mox]

Apparently this Emily chick went to the Ann Coulter school of publicity. And therefore she will have to get used to people calling her a cunt behind her back and not sleeping at night and being generally miserable despite her overflowing bank account.

As a breeder, I can say with confidence that having children is the most depleting, exhausting, financially draining, overwhelming experience a human can have. And I wasn't the one who actually gave birth. I simply watched. Was it all worth it? Yes. I did it twice.
Would I wish it upon anyone else? Of course not. Unless it was a decision they made themselves.
This woman is insane. She brings to mind old shriveled up senior citizen Republican Senators who feel like they have a right to make laws and policy about abortion.
I have plenty of friends who made the choice to NOT have children. And there's nothing more admirable than having a clear sense of who you are - especially by the time you've reached your late 30's. If Emily thinks it's OK to have kids because other people think you should have them, perhaps she should have saved her money and gotten counselling instead of having children.

Here's something from Henry Rollins just for Emily. And Ann Coulter:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgSBhlw-o9E

[Kdennings]

"shouldn't giving birth to another human require a whole lot more thought than opting not to"

I totally agree.

[Cantara]

Any yahoo can give birth, it takes intellegence, judgement and skills to actully RAISE a child. I am wondering if our new mother is fully equipped with all of these from the information I have read here. Seems like a pretty quick change of heart dear.

I too, am a breeder, who NEVER wanted children. As it turns out, I am now in my late thirtes and cant have them for medical reasons. I am now re-married, and wish that I could. What I didn't realize at the time however, was that the reasons I was so against having offspring at the time were more complicated than I could forsee.

a) I was too young and ill prepared to raise a child... b) I was with the wrong man, and we would have made terrible parents....c)I was listening to my inner voice thank God, because it simply wasn't a good idea.

The fact that I was saying I NEVER wanted to have children was a clue. If i had popped up pregnant, i wouldn't have terminated, but we also used multiple forms of birth control.

I hope that this young woman does some serious soul searching before going for baby number two.