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I have never babysat and I can't remember the last time I even held a baby. Being on buses surrounded by babies in strollers make me nauseous. There's something about the baby powder skin smell. Email me if you wish.

Baby BBQ Ivan

You know why you hate babies, Judy?
Because you just don't cook them right!
Thank you, thank you! I'm here all week!
(And feel free to call me up and ask me any questions you want...)


i both love them and hate them. i loved them til i started working in a cafe in park slope. oh, the horror.


Ivan, I had a dream about you last night.
You had fangs, were laughing your most maniacal laugh and were knitting.

Babies are scary. Then they turn into teenagers.

It's a cinch with Ivan!

In dreams, I knit with you... (apologies to Roy Orbison)


Ha ha ha!
Sorry for getting off-topic Judes!

Molly Crabapple

I have no love for the babies. You can interview me for the article ; )


the louder the biological clock ticks the less little one's appeal to me. can't i just adopt a 30 year old or something?
call write for details...


I hate babies. They're loud and look like newts. The ones that look like little old men scare me the most. If I have kiddies, I'm going Angelina style and adopting a 4-year-old to skip the baby stage altogether. Email me if you wish.


I didn't even like kids when I was one of them.

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