Ever since I hissed at the dentist the other day (who, P.S., subsequently declined to work on me anymore—no doubt due to my sassing), I have been obsessed with finding famous people who also have horrible teeth. I guess I've been doing this to counteract being treated like I'm some sort of freakishly creepy piece of human trash every time I go to the dentist.
Growing up, Joe Strummer was my bad tooth idol, so when I interviewed him, I made sure to ask him why he deserted his snaggle-toothed brethren and got them fixed. He told me, "When the teeth rot it can really affect your whole body and it's not just the tooth, it can get into the blood and you know, it's a heavy thing. I had some fucked up teeth."
Shane MacGowan took oral horrors to new heights. I interviewed him too, sharing that my teeth were also from hell. He looked at me like I was nuts and opened wide. Finally! Someone with crappier teeth than me! I just read that he's getting his fixed too. Now if only he could get rid of that pesky booze and dope habit. . . .
The British writer Martin Amis famously spent 30k replacing his trashed choppers and was blasted by the judgmental British press for doing so. Like it was some sort of insult to bad-toothed Brits everywhere. Please. When your teeth hurt and look like crap you can think of little else. I just bought his autobiography, Experience, so I could read all about the excruciating ride I'm in for.
Other famous dentally challenged people are Greta Garbo (the early years), Vladmir Nabokov, James Joyce (and wife) and Frida Kahlo. Who knew?!
this guy ain't famous, but you can add him to your bad teeth list... he's a crystal meth-head i found on rotten.com... scroll down the page and.... watch out!
http://www.rotten.com/library/crime/drugs/methamphetamine/
Posted by: Cap'n Jon | February 03, 2006 at 11:05 AM
JON!!!
You're missing the point! I'm trying to make myself feel BETTER about having gross teeth. I know plenty of crackheads and junkies have yuckmouth. I'm looking for inspiration, here!
Posted by: judes | February 03, 2006 at 11:27 AM
ahhhh i get it... whoops! well, Madonna had a big gap in her chompers - and still got famous... um... George Washington, our founding father had WOODEN TEETH for goodness sakes... Hillary Duff got big giant horse teeth implanted in her grill... speaking of grills, most rappers don't even have teeth anymore, they're all born with metal mouths! Sporty Spice had a snaggletooth.... Johnny Rotten....
did that help?
Posted by: Cap'n Jon | February 03, 2006 at 11:46 AM
Wow. You're obsession with teeth is even more unhealthy than Martin Amis'. I'm in the process of getting a lot of mine repaired. The bridge work comes in '07. Yay. Anyway... came across this after a google search of "martin amis teeth." Just linked to you from my site. Err.. hope your chompers are OK.
Posted by: robin | December 16, 2006 at 12:18 PM