Elizabeth Hayt, the author of my most loathed book of the year so far, I'm no Saint: A Nasty Little Memoir of Love and Leaving, inexplicably has a weekly dating column in the Post. Never mind that her book should've been called I'm no Saint—I'm Actually a Horribly Spoiled Bitch from Long Island—her continued employment just goes to illustrate that there is no such thing as karma and good things do indeed happen to very bad people. Usually Hayt's columns are merely irritating exercises in self-indulgence. However, this week she gets "serious" and tackles the issue of race relations. Ahem.
The result is a truly astonishing look into the mind of a complete moron:
Standing in the surgeon's bedroom, I was frozen with fear. It was one thing to be seen in public with him, but quite another to be naked. The darkness of his body was frighteningly exotic, so opposite my own fairness, which, by comparison, I suddenly perceived to be weak and wane. How would I touch his hair when I couldn't run my fingers through it? What if he was physically aggressive?
What the fuck?!?! I know we're talking the not-exactly-enlightened New York Post here, but didn't anybody vet this bitch's column for stupidity? I'm sure she's congratulating herself for copping to and overcoming her fears—after all, she does "bravely" do the deed with the scary negro man—but am I the only one who really wants to smack this broad in the head?
Wow... All it took was an Ivy League education for her to figure out that blacks are people too? You mean their skin's not made of molten lava? Glad she's around to clear that up... all that article needed is a picture of Fabio dressed as a Viking to be perfect...
Posted by: Comaboy | January 30, 2006 at 02:22 PM
I'm shocked that Rich has been heard from on this subject.
Posted by: Jules | January 30, 2006 at 02:31 PM
This ho should be starring in the new remake of Mandingo! Oh Mandingo I've heard your people are so BIG and oh my God Lawdy it's True! What the fuck is she talking about? Aggressive? Can't run my fingers through his hair. Holy fucking shit! I am officially mortified to be white and with me that doesn't happen easily!
Posted by: Spyro | January 30, 2006 at 03:10 PM
When I read the column this morning on the subway, I almost got in touch with my inner Whitney Houston and yelled, "Hell to the Nah".
I could believe she was spouting such ignorance.
Posted by: Nichelle | January 30, 2006 at 10:11 PM
Every time I think the Post couldn't possibly find a lower denominator, they find some thing to prove their Indiana Jones-like ability.
I don't know what's worse: that this column exists or there were girls giving each other knowing nods over it in office kitchens this morning.
Posted by: kristina | January 31, 2006 at 12:56 AM
Perhaps that was meant to be a "weakly dating" column?
Posted by: phlegmfatale | February 08, 2006 at 01:02 PM
LOL, you guys are funny!!!
What a twit. Look, I'm a white woman and my husband of 6 years is black and while he is well-endowed "down there" (sorry if that's TMI)...has she NEVER seen a penis before?! What the fuck? Somebody should slap this bitch.
And her comment about his hair leaves me at a loss for words. She's never felt a black person's hair before? Surely she has at least one black coworker/friend/whatever that she talks to. Not all black people have the same hair type. My husband is dark-skinned with curly hair. I've never had a problem running my hands through it. And believe me when I say that it's perfectly OK to be physical in the bedroom. "Frozen with fear"...I hope she's kidding. "Frighteningly exotic", my ass.
What's frightening is the fact that she could write this unenlightened bullshit.
Posted by: Mindy | June 07, 2006 at 09:52 PM
Good point, Mindy. I too am surprised she had never run her fingers through the hair of any of her co-workers. All of my co-workers love it when I do that.
Oh, and thanks for letting us know that your black husband has a big black dick too. This insight was an invaluable contribution to the discussion.
Posted by: Mork | August 16, 2006 at 01:02 PM