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Oh my goodness! We must be twins.

I quit buying the paper equivalent of the Manhattan White Pages years ago. But lately on Sundays I've been stopping into a certain chinese dumpling place on St. Mark's that has a subscription. Last week I read the real estate section and ... that scary bed bug article. Only the Times could prop up a dying real estate market and simultaneously want us all to run from our homes. It gives with one hand and takes with the other.

Since then, every skin blemish gets manic attention at chez dan. I even spotted a crawley thing on my kitchen counter before collapsing in a nervous heap the other day.

It's all so sordid. It makes me long for the days when the Times hunted the president with fake outrage and scandal daily on the front page and taunted his wife. Oops! Sorry, that was the Clinton administration.

These days they're too busy ignoring real scandals and kissing an unpopular president's ass ... and scaring the bejeezus out of us with creepy crawly things that suck blood. Feh.

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