This morning I woke up to an email from the owner of a place called Jamie Scherrer's Auction House, imploring me to be proud because I am white. Sigh. Something I had fuck-all to do with and has already given me melanoma. But I digress.
I believe Jamie Scherrer The Racist sent me this email by mistake, as we've never met and I hope we never do. Many of the people on the cc list list were named McGuire, so I'm guessing he's subliterate and got me mixed up with a Julie or Joanie. I find it particularly ironic that many of the names on the cc list (yep, not even smart enough to be shamed into blind cc'ing) are Irish. I guess they've forgotten that we micks were once the target of such hatred and bigotry. Or, more likely, they don't care because they're too busy being proud of being palefaces, because that's SUCH A FUCKING ACHIEVEMENT and is never used as a moronic excuse for putting others down.
I'm posting the almost-too-ignorant-to-be-hateful screed in its entirety below. I've already written them a nice Yelp review, (as well as a reply to their email) but I hope you'll do your part and spread this around. Here's the email—and here's Jamie Scherrer's email address if you feel like getting in touch with him yourself: firstname.lastname@example.org:
Subject: Be Proud To Be White I DONT THINK THAT IS
ALLOWED IS IT
This is very interesting!!!
Be Proud To Be White.. ( There is a good point made here)
I have been wondering why Whites are racists, and no other
race is ...
Michael Richards makes his point ... and whether we like
it or not, he is telliing the truth.
Michael Richards, better known as Kramer from TV's Seinfeld
does make a good point.
This was his defense speech in court after making racial
comments in his comedy act.
He makes some very interesting points ...
Someone finally said it. How many are actually paying
attention to this?
There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian
Americans, Arab Americans, etc.
And then there are just Americans ... You pass me on the
street and sneer in my direction.
You call me 'White boy,' 'Cracker,' 'Honkey,' 'Whitey,'
'Caveman' ... and that's OK ...
But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger,
Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink ... You call me a
You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you ...
So why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?
You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin
Luther King Day.
You have Black History Month.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Yom Hashoah.
You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.
You have the NAACP.
You have BET....
If we had WET (White Entertainment Television), we'd be
If we had a White Pride Day, you would call us racists.
If we had White History Month, we'd be racists.
If we had any organization for only whites to 'advance' OUR
lives, we'd be racists.
We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of
Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of
Wonder who pays for that??
A white woman could not be in the Miss Black American
pageant, but any color can be in the Miss America pageant.
If we had a college fund that only gave white students
scholarships ... you know we'd be racists.
There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the
Yet if there were 'White colleges', that would be a racist
In the Million Man March, you believed that you were
marching for your race and rights.
If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us
You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and
you're not afraid to announce it.
But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.
You rob us, car jack us, and shoot at us.
But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member
or beats up a black drug dealer running from the law and
posing a threat to society, you call him a racist.
I am proud ... But you call me a racist.
Why is it that only whites can be racists??
There is nothing improper about this e-mail ...
Let's see which of you are proud enough to send it on.
I sadly don't think many will.
That's why we have LOST most of OUR RIGHTS in this country.
We won't stand up for ourselves!
BE "PROUD" TO BE WHITE!
It's not a crime YET... but getting very close!
It is estimated that ONLY 5% of those reaching this point
in this e-mail, will pass it on.