Did you watch Rhianna on 20/20 the other night? I did and was totally impressed. She seemed poised, but earnest. Sad, but strong. I was irritated that seconds after Rhianna told Diane Sawyer that seeing the photo of her bruised and bloody face makes her relive that night, Diane was all like, "which picture—this picture?" as she held up a copy. Was that really necessary? Anyway, Rhianna handled it more gracefully than I could've imagined, yet still came across as a very real young lady.
Then yesterday, I watched Chris Brown talk to the curiously named "Sway" on MTV. Sigh. Obviously I'm biased against lady-beaters. That's a given. But if you're going to apologize—at least be sincere about it. And if you can't manage heartfelt and feel a need to say something—anything—so you don't lose your endorsements and fan base, pay someone competent to script a plea that's at least sincere-sounding.
I don't know who's handling this jackass, but they're not doing a very good job, because each "apology" (though that's stretching the definition of the word) is worse than the last. First there was the ridiculous Larry King appearance with his mommy. Dressed in a powder-blue sweater and coordinating bowtie, Brown looked like a three-year-old making amends for a wayward dookie in his pants, not a asshat who'd punched, kicked, and choked his girlfriend. Claiming he "didn't remember" what happened that night, the LK shitshow was a whole bunch of talking in circles and no-sense making. Oh, and Chris Brown's mom—I know you love your baby (and your meal ticket), but you should be ashamed of yourself for cosigning his bullshit.
Then there was the bizarre YouTube video. Dressed in a red, chef's-coat-looking schmatte, Brown read some scripted legalese off a teleprompter. Again, about as real as Lisa Rinna's lips. Finally, there was the MTV thing. Honestly, I couldn't sit through the whole half hour, but from what I saw it was more of the same—confusion, blameshifting, dismay that people were being "mean" to him, and some crap about self-knowledge. Now, after watching Rhianna on Diane Sawyer, dum-dum released his response:
"I maintain my position that all of the details should remain a private matter between us," he told MTV. "I do appreciate her support and wish her the best."
Yeah, I'll bet you wished it would've remained private, Chrissy.
But even though I think you're a punk-ass little bitch, Chris Brown, I've done my share of I'm-sorry's, so I'm going to do you a favor and teach you the elements that any good apology should contain:
- A very clear message that you claim 100% responsibility for your actions
- An admission that you were very wrong (no "but"'s)
- An expression of sincere regret for said actions
- An explanation of how you are going to make sure it never happens again (i.e., therapy, and no, church doesn't count)
- An offer of some sort of restitution
- The understanding that it's not the wronged party's job to accept your apology, so if she doesn't, you just STFU and move on
Thank you for posting this. I also was so impressed by her.
I do believe that this interview
is going to help so many.
Posted by: Lisa | November 14, 2009 at 01:15 PM
right on.
Posted by: Daffy | November 16, 2009 at 11:06 PM