Bad Advice

This is where I'll be this weekend.

The boyfriend is playing in New Orleans this weekend and I'm going with him, though I doubt I'll stay up late enough to actually see the show. But isn't the poster pretty? If anyone has any tips for what I should be doing there, please share in the comments because I've never been to New Orleans before.

Hi there, little boy. . . .

This is Nick Cave's son, Jethro. He's a model. Ahem. He's also scandalously young, so I will refrain from saying another word. Except I am not sure how I feel about a novelty retro name like Jethro. Did you hear Amy Poehler just named her kid Archie? Yeah, not so nice either. But if he turns out to look anything like Jethro, I doubt anyone will be giving him even a crumb of shit about his silly-ass name.

Tom Cruise Puts the Whammy on my Blog!

Wow. Last week I posted a video that I'd gotten off a scientology-sponsored website called thewaytohappiness.org. Don't even bother going there now because they suddenly it's all password-protected. The video consists of a montage of women slapping the hell out of men over a rousing soundtrack. Every once in a while a black screen would interrupt with a slogan like "Cheating is bad" or "Don't be promiscuous."

The commercial had run on HGTV and really freaked me out. Would they have ever posted a video of men smacking their wayward wives up? I don't think so. So I went to the website and saw that the group had produced a whole slew of morality-themed PSAs (none as offensive as the "don't cheat" one though). But when I tried to look at my blog today, it wouldn't load. Not only that, but when I tried to edit my post so I could delete the video and replace it with just the link, it wouldn't let me.

I don't know what's going on, but I finally had to delete the whole post. Maybe the ad got them a whole lot of bad press from other sources, because I can't believe they'd screw with my tiny little blog over it, but who knows. The ex-High Times employee in me kind of thinks they might have.

In other news, my new Time column is up! Yay! I'm really excited about this gig! That makes three (count 'em!) weekly columns. I am loving fulltime freelancing.

Hilarious e-mail from a dude

Every Friday morning I do a spot on a radio show called The Ladies Room out in Seattle. The two hosts, Brooke and Monti are completely adorable and hilarious. I love them. Monti's off the market, but Brooke is still dating so she had a question for me this week. She was out having fun last weekend and apparently randomly chatting up some dude. I guess she told him she worked for the radio station and he tracked her down to ask her out. She asked me if she should go out with him even though she couldn't recall what the hell he looked like (hullo, demon liquor!).

Monti and I both encouraged her to go. I mean, seize the day, whatnot. Below is their correspondence—and be patient because the payoff is well worth it:

Activities a-poppin'!

 So much going on over the next few days. Tonite, Mike Edison will be joined by Jon Spencer (aka, the hottest man in rock 'n' roll) and Gary Lucas at the Spiegeltent. That's happening at eight and it's $15.

Also going on tonite at Teddy's is a benefit for longtime Williamsburg activist/resident Jennifer Hilton who was recently diagnosed with stage three colon cancer. Some of the money goes to defray what must be insanely high medical bills (thanks GWB!) and also to the awesome agency, Cancercare. If you've never heard of Cancercare, please look into them. A cancer diagnosis can be devastating and this organization not only helps the patient cope, but they help look after the whole family, providing counseling and other services.

The boyfriend's various bands are also getting a load of play this weekend. Tonite Girl to Gorilla play in Williamsburg at a bar called The Underground, which is located at 507 Grand St., between Lorimer and Union. The tomorrow he's playing with the Vondells at Spiegeltent and then with them again the next night at Otto's Shrunken Head's anniversary party.

If you love kitties, like I love kitties*, you know how devastated Suzy O'Brien must be about her missing feline. If you see little kitty, please contact Suzy through the email listed here (there's a photo too).

On the shameless self-promotion tip, I wrote a Seattle Weekly column on desperation (something I know a lot about, unfortunately), and a Frisky/CNN piece on how you shouldn't listen to stupid advice columnists (except me).

*That's Inky hogging the remote—just like his daddy does, though at least the Inkster doesn't try to force cartoons on me.

Ooooh, scary!

Today was my last day at my part time job. I have mixed feelings about leaving—mostly I'm glad to move on, but I'm also kind of scared at the thought of fulltime freelancing. Oh, and paying for my own health insurance. Scary.

After eight years it was kind of anti-climactic—especially after the fun, mid-day radio break. It was just me and Roger in the office, and so it's going to be weird and sad not to see him every couple days, but also I'm glad to be out of there. I always felt like I was wasting my time, but he was pleasant, talented, and hey, there was that health insurance.

So, please, if anyone needs a freelance writer, let me know. I've got tons of work right now, but the fear that comes with freelancing is that it could all dry up any second now. Gulp.

Also, if you're looking for cool Halloween accessories—the Lillian Vernon catalog can totally hook you up. (Do people really change their shower curtain according to season?)  Me, I'll be in New Orleans for that spooky weekend, so if you have any tips, please leave them in the comments. I have Sunday there completely solo, so if anyone wants to have dinner—po' boys on me!

JM on the Radio

In addition to my usual Friday morning spot with those minxes at The Ladies Room, I'm going to be on Sirius radio tomorrow afternoon, from 2 – 3pm (EST). The show is Maxim radio's Sex Files. You can call in and ask me questions!

Appearing with me will be Twanna Hines, aka Funky Brown Chick.  We've never met, but I've read her stuff and she's hilarious and smart. So if you have Sirius radio, please tune in!

Go-Bama

Though I don't agree with him all the time, Obama is, hands-down, the most iconic candidate we've had in well, forever. He's even got the Williamsburg bedbug vote.

Damn, that's some puddin'

I was just going through, deleting files and emptying my office computer and I found this pudding picture. I snapped it at a giant supermarket in Hudson. The Pricechopper, perhaps? I love me some puddin', though perhaps this is a bit much.

Jolie-laide? Or just plain fugly

Though I abhor the Birkenstock, I am oddly drawn to shoes that tread the line between really freaking ugly and kind of coolly beautiful. These are my latest conundrum. They're from Tom's Shoes, which has a really great business model—for every pair of badly made, rather fugly shoes you purchase, they'll give a pair of badly made, rather fugly shoes to a poor person. So basically, buy one pair and you double your fug.

These boots wrap up your calf like a canvas ace bandage and have a totally flat heel, which probably spells a stumpy peg-leg look for me. They remind me a lot of the wraps I used to use when I was boxing. As they're $118, I think I'll give them a pass. If they were $40 I'd take a chance.

OH, before I forget—my friend Kate and Monkey the Husky were inspired by Frankenstein's Judy song—hilarious!