The bachelorette party is ON! Apparently, I was just being ignorant because I had no idea what fun could be had with your best gals! I became enlightened upon reading Aimee's account on the Observer's new Bridal Blog and no way in HELL am I missing out on these hijinx! Read it and weep (with joy!):
“It's 10:30 pm and the gang's here at Café Japone, all my bridesmaids wearing matching pink "Bridesmaid" tank tops. Once my sister secures the sparkly tiara on my head, out comes the handsome white thong that says "Bride" (rhinestone dotting the "i") prompting my table’s reprise of the all-too-familiar chant: “PANties! PANties! PANties!"
Goddamn! I had no idea I'd be missing out on the PANty chant! Looking back through the other bride's entries, I read about Madeline's horrifying encounter with, what she refers to as an "Outer Borough Girl." Or OBG as Maddy calls her. Apparently girls from outside of Manhattan are loud and wear rhinestone crowns on their wedding day. Shudder! Not like penny-pinching Madeline who has her dress mailed to a friend in Jersey in order to save on sales tax. (Hello? That's illegal, which is way tackier than a rhinestone tiara, okay?)
Madeline's panties are in a bunch because her size ZERO gown is too tight. Wah! Hey, Madeline, eat a cheeseburger and grow into a real size, bitch! Madeline spends the rest of her column inches sniffing that she's definitely not a rhinestone crown kind of girl like those tacky Queens brides in the dressing room next door. Hey, better a crown on the head than a stick up the ass.