Along with old episodes of Homicide and John Waters, one of the best things about Baltimore is the City Paper. Not only were they the first to run Tim Kreider's brilliant, "The Pain: When Will it End," they've got Mink Stole as an advice columnist!*
Normally, Mink is right on; dispensing advice with wit and a sensitivity that always seems to elude me. But this week, I must respectfully point out, that she is dead wrong.
A young lady writes in, wondering if it's too "weird" to ask her boyfriend of two months if he's seeing anyone else. Mink says don't do it:
Here’s why: If your guy is like a lot of other guys, no matter how noninvasive you try to be, he will not hear a simple request for information; what he will hear is, “Are you going to marry me?” And in an instant you’re transformed from best-he’s-ever-dated gal into wedding-wanting scary gal.
Though I agree men can be hinky bastids, there's no harm in keeping it light and saying something along the lines of, "hey, are we still sleeping with other people or should I cancel my four o'clock?" I'd want to know if someone I'm sleeping with is schtupping others—not because I'm desperate for marriage, but because I'd like to know if I should keep looking. It's not fair if he's going out having all the sex while I'm sitting at home waiting for a call, thinking he's my one and only.
*The only downside being that they also carry that annoying Republican coward, Russ 9/11-scared-me-back-to-Baltimore Smith.