Judy McGuire

I took this picture of myself, sitting home alone, in an attempt to come up with sexy photos for my nerve ad. I thought I'd go for a Judy's-at-a-party look.

It's important to note that this photo did not get me laid. In order to attract men online, one must show at least a hint of boobie. You don't need to go with full-on nipple, but a little cleavage crack will really up your chances.

Anyway, more about me. In addition to writing a sex & love advice column called "Dategirl," I've delivered auto parts in New Jersey (my motherland), worked at the Gap in the Short Hills Mall whilst sporting a full mohawk (it was the 80s!), and once had a job that entailed following heroin addicts and dealers around.

Back in the late 80s/early 90s, I worked at High Times, even though I don't have much use for pot smokers. Since then, I've written features to Bust, Go NYC, Vibe, Paper, Time Out, Men’s Fitness, Complex, and Mademoiselle among many, many others.

Oh, and then there's television. Putting my criminology degree to use, I've worked as a producer on a couple Court TV documentaries, including one about the murder of Mia Zapata. I was even on TV once—I was one of those talking heads on a show called "Love Files." It was then that I discovered that being on TV freaks me out.

Then there was my play. I did a month-long run of a one-woman play I wrote called "Bad Sex: A Memoir in Play Format." Doing that made me realize I am much more comfortable sitting at home in my underpants writing, than I am standing in front of a large group of people in my underpants, reading.